Secret weapons are supposed to give unparalleled power to players who manage to discover or unlock them. Think of the Master Sword in various Legend of Zelda games, or the ultimate weapons in Final Fantasy titles: these armaments significantly empower the characters to vanquish foes and make bosses easier to deal with.
However, some secret weapons buck on this trend of giving players immense power boosts to seemingly mock them for languishing hours just to attain them or just by simply being useless at certain junctures in the game. What are these worthless secret weapons that players shouldn’t bother getting? Here are some of the worst secret weapons in video games.
9 Wooden Sword — Ninja Gaiden Series
The Ninja Gaiden games are notorious for being hard titles that test players’ reflexes as they whizz around dealing flashy combos while avoiding getting hit by enemies. Given that said enemies can overwhelm players, it’s best to have a trusty weapon to defend one’s self.
The Wooden Sword does the opposite of that. It’s the least damaging weapon and cannot perform Essence nor Ultimate techniques. That said, the Wooden Sword can be upgraded up to seven times: it becomes Unlabored Flawlessness once fully upgraded, and gives players increased damage, but only when their health is below 25%.
Given that grinding for its upgrade materials is tedious as well as that glaring HP requirement to gain access to more damage, the Wooden Sword is only a good weapon for those who further challenge themselves in an already challenging game.
8 The Sun Shield — Super Ghosts ‘N Goblins
Super Ghosts ‘N Goblins is infamous for its difficulty for a platformer title. Arthur can and will fall to enemies with a hit or two, while his weapons are useful to some degree, but most leave a lot to be desired. The Sun Shield provides Arthur with some protection against enemies: in Super Ghost ‘N Goblins, it can take three hits before it shatters.
What makes this item the worst is how to get it: players need to get the Golden Armor and the Moon Shield. Players then need to open chests while they still have the Moon Shield to upgrade it. With the game difficult as it is, the additional requirement just to get a shield upgrade is asking players to either forgo this item and just gamble on completing the game instead.
7 Excalibastard — Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel
Borderlands is a dream game for players who want to amass tons of guns. One of the weapons players can acquire in Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel is the Excalibastard. An obvious nod to the fabled sword, this rifle is lodged in a stone in Stanton’s Liver, and players can pull it out to use it.
The Excalibastard boasts good stats and is a serviceable weapon. However, this weapon scales with the Vault Hunter’s level when they remove it from the stone: the higher the level, the more powerful it becomes. But by the time players have a high level, they would have gotten better weapons than this one.
6 Gold & Silver Pipe — Silent Hill 3
A pipe is one of the early weapons players can wield in Silent Hill games. It’s a decent weapon that can be used until a better one can replace it. In Silent Hill 3, players can acquire a gold and silver pipe.
Players need to have completed the game before they can get the gold and silver pipe from a sewer fairy (yes, a sewer fairy) by answering her questions honestly. Both pipes do not offer anything new nor have better stats than conventional pipes, rendering their make purely cosmetic: they do have quirky item descriptions, so there’s that.
5 Excalipur — Final Fantasy Games
The Excalibur is one of the popular legendary weapons in pop culture. It’s the mythical sword that King Arthur pulled out from the stone and is often imbued with mystical properties. This sword has found its way in multiple Final Fantasy games and provides players added power to their arsenal.
Conversely, the Excalipur, or Excalipoor, is its cheap, underpowered knockoff. Often wielded by Gilgamesh in most Final Fantasy titles he is in, this joke weapon that deals ONE damage, and usually costs a lot of money or is locked in a difficult side mission players need to complete to obtain it.
4 Sword Of Dormin — Shadow Of The Colossus (2018)
Shadow of the Colossus pits players against humongous colossi, and armed only with a common sword, they are tasked to take these towering behemoths down. Wailing at colossi with such a weapon wouldn’t deal much damage, but luckily they have weak spots that can be targeted for massive damage: players just need to climb those colossi and look for their weak spots.
That said, the Sword of Dormin is a legendary sword that deals significantly massive damage, but it reduces the player’s health regeneration. What makes this secret weapon bad is how to acquire it: players need to collect 79 Gold Coins which are scattered around the map. These coins are usually in hard-to-reach places, and are tedious to get. Players are better off using other weapons than spending time tracking down Gold Coins to get this sword.
3 Secret Boots — Castlevania: Symphony Of The Night
Delving into Dracula’s castle in Castlevania: Symphony of the Night is rife with danger and treasures. Good thing for Alucard, he can wield all manner of weapons and don various armor to help him explore and dispatch its denizens.
One of the accessories Alucard can discover is the aptly named Secret Boots. Located in the Underground Caverns, once Alucard wears these boots, it slightly increases his height in-game. That’s it: unlike Gravity Boots that allow him to jump higher, Secret Boots only makes Alucard slightly taller.
2 Real Knife — Undertale
Undertale is known for how it allows players to complete it in three distinct ways. Players can finish the game by either playing it normally, going for a pacifist run, or going on a genocide run. Before completing the game under a genocide run, players are rewarded with the Real Knife and The Locket. The Real Knife has the strongest attack stat in the game, allowing players to one-shot any opponent they encounter.
But that’s the catch: playing a genocide run means that players have already killed all enemies except for the final boss. Using the Real Knife against the final boss is useless due to the boss’ high evasion.
1 Provocative Bathing Suit — La-Mulana
Hardcore gamers know how notoriously hard La-Mulana is. This action platformer throws all manner of dangerous dungeons and enemies at players who need to spelunk their way to find lost treasure. One of the secret items players can attain in this game is the Provocative Bathing Suit. They can get this by completing an extremely difficult Hell Temple. After defeating the boss in this area, players are rewarded with the materials to create this “special treasure”.
Giving the materials to Dracuet allows him to craft the Provocative Bathing Suit. This suit does nothing other than make Lemeza, the main character, look scantily-clad: wearing this while interacting with some NPCs will result in some funny dialogues.