The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt is still an undeniably popular and celebrated game, even more so since the Netflix tv show aired. Since its release across consoles in 2015, many of us have followed the adventures of Geralt the Witcher, along with his fabled romances and twisted sense of humor. While the game has some very funny lines and moments, particularly as a result of Geralt's wit, there are a few moments that leave a bad taste in players' mouths.
Despite it only being 5 years since the game's original release, there are already some jokes and quips from the game that can make a modern player shudder. Here are only 10 of the most cringe-worthy moments you should prepare yourself for when you start your monster-hunting adventure!
10 Disturbing Bath Time
There is no better place to start this than to reference the opening sequence of the game. While it's quite questionable to open a game with nudity featuring two of the game's main characters, it's the scorpion-crab in the bath this is most disturbing.
Yennifer summons this creature to swim into Geralt's bath and do something to him under the water. All to get him to hurry up! This is a disproportionate response and even for a practicer of dark magic feels just plain weird!
9 Keep it Hidden!
In the "Dead Man's Party"Â side quest, there is one small cutscene and side-quest that contains more innuendo than anyone needs in a lifetime! An innocent, traditional game involving retrieving your partner's shoe from a lake quickly becomes something involving a lot more eye-rolling!
The opening bad joke for this doesn't even come from Geralt (or Vlodimir) but from a random observer. When making fun of Geralt's donkey ears he comments that he: "Must have another horse part hidden in his trousers." Not only is this a daft, unnecessary joke, it also makes absolutely no sense as an insult.
8 Wear Whatever You Like
During one wild night out with Lambert and Eskel, Geralt and his friends decide the party needs more women and that the best way to rectify this is is to summon some sorceresses. However, deciding they don't look enough like sorceresses for this to work, the drunk trio decide to invade Yenna's wardrobe to dress up!
Frankly, this joke is truly outdated. In the 90's, audiences found men dressed in "womens clothing" hilarious but society has evolved past that. Nowadays, thankfully, it takes a bit more. Not to mention the fact that people, regardless of gender, have the right to wear whatever they choose.
7 Oh no! Commitment!
During the same drunken escapade, quest name "No Place Like Home,"Â the smashed friends give us another joke that has been done to death.
While going through Yenna's things, Lambert comments on how much stuff she brought with her. Eskel then responds saying: "Shush, you'll scare Geralt!" The "men are scared of commitment and women love it" stereotype is boring, overplayed, and leads to unhealthy dynamics in realtionships. Sure, Geralt isn't exactly known worldwide for his fidelity, but this joke is a joke the 2020 audience has outgrown.
6 They're Just Shoes!
Now we return to Vlodimir's fun night in Geralt's body! Honestly, this whole questline hasn't aged well. But this line is even more cringe-worthy.
After diving into the lake to rescue Shani's shoe, Vlodimir takes it on himself to retrieve all the other shoe's from the lake out of the goodness of his heart. He then decides it is appropriate to say: "I can now approach the owner of any of these slippers and she will lift up her skirt and bend over... To don it, of course!" This sort of joke simply does not sit right with modern audiences.
5 The Protestaquisitor
When getting a new piece of equipment from Yenna, she explains how it works, telling Geralt that: "the louder it squeals, the closer you are!"
It's not even Geralt's reaction to Yen's explanation of the Protestaquisitor that ages this joke, but more her reaction to it. Yennefer is an intelligent person and this joke felt truly out of character. Lewd innuendo can be entertaining if well done but this was truly low hanging fruit.
4 "Your Mother" Was a Witcher!
Sometimes, you need to take a break from monster hunting for a good, old-fashioned battle of wits!
During the Blood and Wine DLC for The Witcher 3, Geralt enters an "insult off," as part of the Fists of Fury quest. His challenger, Mancomb, throws a rhyming insult Geralt's way. The player is then given some selections to choose from to beat Mancomb. One of which simply reads: "Your Mama." (The insult it gives isn't much better!) While the concept of "Your Mama" jokes has been around for centuries, this still just looks like an attempt at referencing a dated meme! Geralt can do better!
3 Geralt Knows Better!
Another dive into the world of un-worthy comebacks!
Geralt's wit wasn't at its best during the whole Blood and Wine DLC. During the questline, "The Warble of a Smitten Knight," Geralt is challenged to a duel by Prince Anseis of Lyria and Rivia. In truly dramatic fashion, the prince slams his gauntlet on the table in front of our switched, declaring that he "demands satisfaction. " To which Geralt replies: "Head to the nearest brothel then." Yet another case of the game going for the most obvious punchline.
2 An Innocent Question
It's not always Geralt who takes things the wrong way! During one of the game's many trips inside a tavern, Geralt approaches an Innkeeper who asks Geralt if he's looking for any entertainment. Geralt asks what he has in mind and the Innkeeper takes this incredibly personally! He then goes on a rant about how he was innocently talking about drinks.
This is a disproportionate response! Asking what entertainment you have in mind was perfectly innocent when Geralt first asked it. You're in a tavern, being able to drink is already implied. Calm yourself, Innkeeper!
1 Enough Already!
It's probably best to skip "Dead Man's Party" altogether. There are plenty of better side quests that won't make modern players cringe. After retrieving Shani's shoe from the lake, Vlodimir decides that the two comments mentioned earlier just weren't creepy enough!
When giving her shoe back (while it's still soaked from the river!) He says to her: "Now extend your subtle leg and let me slide it in- that is, on..."Â The worse part about all of these comments is that Shani really doesn't look into them at all. She looks as uncomfortable as you'd expect.