Just because Stardew Valley sets itself up as a farming simulator doesn’t mean it ends within the farming experience. While players plant crops and gather resources, Stardew Valley offers many other activities for players to enjoy — such as combat within the Mines, developing relationships with other villagers, and even unlocking other parts of their farm. However, at some point after the main events of the game, players can actually unravel more mysteries within the title. One of these lies in the "Goblin Problem" Quest.
In this quest, players must resolve the fallout between the all-powerful Wizard and the mysterious Witch, who players will discover were once married. With their relationship spawning more mysteries than answers, just how should players approach this quest to understand it fully?
The Wizard And The Witch: The Context
After players complete either Joja Warehouse or the Community Center, venturing into the Railroad will unlock a special cutscene. This involves revealing a traveling Witch that laughs as she flies away, as well as a tired Wizard that spawns near the player.
It’s revealed that the Wizard and the Witch are former lovers, and when they separated, the Witch took one of the Wizard's prized possessions. The Wizard asks the player to retrieve his Magic Ink from the Witch’s Hut, which is located in the dreaded Witch’s Swamp. When players complete the first part of this quest, called “The Dark Talisman,” only then will they unlock this quest, “The Goblin Problem.”
What Exactly Is The Problem?
Once players have obtained the Dark Talisman from the Mutant Bug Lair in the Sewers, they can finally access the pathway leading to the Witch’s Swamp. The plan is for the farmer to simply walk inside the Witch’s Swamp and find her Witch’s Hut, and then perhaps converse with her to get the Wizard’s Magic Ink, one of the last remnants of their failed romance.
Unfortunately, things aren’t as easy as they seem. When players get access to the Witch’s Swamp, they are blocked by a Goblin Henchman, who says they’d “lose their job” if they let the player pass. The game reveals that the player must find some more information about Goblins, as some clues may help players convince the Henchman to move.
Lost Book: Goblins By M. Jasper
The clue that players need to get past the Goblin Henchman lies in a Lost Book called Goblins, by M. Jasper Since this is a Lost Book, players can only acquire this item through digging at special locations with a Hoe. Spots where Lost Books may be located are called Artifact Spots, which often have worms wiggling around them. Players can also find Lost Books in the Skull Cavern or the Mines, as well as from Fishing Treasure Chests.
In M. Jasper’s book, Goblins are said to possess intelligence and emotional capacity similar to that of humans. Unfortunately, unfair treatment has encouraged them to pursue professions under the employment of “unsavory types,” such as warlocks, witches, and necromancers. A particular data of note involves the revelation that Goblins love grub meat, particularly “void mayonnaise” that is considered the best Goblin food.
Acquiring Void Mayonnaise
While the exquisite nature of Void Mayonnaise might make it seem as though they’re an extreme rarity of an item like Universal Loves of Stardew Valley Villagers, Void Mayonnaise is actually attainable provided players know where to look. Players can obtain the Void Mayonnaise through two major means.
- Mayonnaise Machine: Players can place a single Void Egg inside the Mayonnaise Machine and leave it for processing. After three hours, players can acquire a single Void Mayonnaise. Players may be able to acquire Void Eggs through various means, such as the Void Chicken, Void Salmon in Fish Ponds, or by purchasing them from Krobus in the sewers.
- Witch’s Swamp, Fishing: Players may also be able to acquire Void Mayonnaise through Fishing. If they don’t have the Void Mayonnaise in their inventory, they can go to the Witch’s Swamp to fish for the item with a 25% probability. This process only works while the Henchman is still guarding the Witch’s Hut, however.
Quest Completion & Rewards
Players officially complete “The Goblin Problem” once they provide the Void Mayonnaise to the Goblin Henchman. After this, they can enter the Witch's Hut and obtain the Magic Ink, which can then be returned to the Wizard via a handy teleportation sigil in the hut.
Completing this questline gives players access to the Witch’s Hut and everything inside, as well as new options in the Wizard’s Tower. Players can also to teleport between the two far-away locations, which is a useful technique when harvesting Stardew Valley crops without wasting the day’s time. Here are some special considerations with each access point.
The Witch’s Hut
Located inside the Witch’s Swamp, players can immediately access this after completing both “The Dark Talisman” and “The Goblin Problem.” When entering the Hut, players gain access to a fast travel option and to three major shrines, each with different effects and properties.
- Teleportation Runes: When players have lower than 4 Friendship Hearts with the Wizard, they can only use the teleportation rune to go from the Witch’s Hut to the Wizard’s Tower. However, it won’t go both ways. It’s only when players reach Friendship 4 with the Wizard that the Rune allows them to travel to both locations, giving a miniature option for fast travel in Stardew Valley.
- Dark Shrine of Memory: Using this for 30,000g will reset the relationship between the player and their ex-spouses.
- Dark Shrine of Selfishness: For the cost of a Prismatic Shard, players can permanently remove children from the game by turning them into doves.
- Dark Shrine of Night Terrors: Using a Strange Bun will allow monsters to spawn on the Farm at night, removing the seal of protection they originally have. Using this again will turn on the seal once more, preventing monsters from spawning further.
The Wizard’s Tower
Alongside the Witch’s Hut, completing “The Goblin Problem” also unlocks the ability to purchase obelisks and other magical buildings from the Wizard. These include:
- Earth Obelisk: Teleports players to the mountains.
- Water Obelisk: Teleports players to the beach.
- Desert Obelisk: Teleports players to Calico Desert.
- Island Obelisk: Teleports players to Ginger Island.
- Junimo Hut: Allows Junimos to harvest crops.
- Gold Clock: Prevents fences from decaying and prevents debris from appearing.
Stardew Valley was released in 2016 and is currently available for the PC, macOS, Linux, PS4, Xbox One, Nintendo Switch, iOS, Android, and PS Vita.