Immersion is a core pillar of any BethesdaRPG. From the breathtaking lore of Morrowind to the rebuilding of towns in Fallout 4, there is a big push in every Bethesda game to innovate on NPC interactions and immersive elements. However, this doesn't always have the intended effects when bugs are considered.
From as far back as Oblivion's radiant AI system, NPCs tend to behave in strange and often hilarious ways. Skyrim fixed many of Oblivion's radiant AI issues such as interpersonal dialogue and having characters stare at walls for multiple hours, but that isn't to say Skyrim doesn't have its fair share of funny NPC bugs. Here are 10 hilarious things NPCs do in Skyrim that don't make sense. This list is in no particular order.
10 Tell Their Life Story
It seems that every guard in Skyrim has a history of being an adventurer until they took an arrow in the knee. Players might also know that Mila Valentia works with her mother to sell fruits and vegetables, which is fun most days but hard work.
Bethesda's method of handling NPC dialogue is strange. Simply walking by or looking at an NPC will cause them to give a synopsis of their life story more often than not. It's equally jarring and hilarious to hear an NPC dump their personality and background onto a player while they're on a trip to turn in a quest or purchase some goods.
9 Fight For Dropped Items
Players can carry hundreds of pounds of swords, armor, potions, or cheese wheels in Skyrim. Sometimes, it's easier to drop these items on the ground than head to a merchant while over-encumbered.
When this happens, NPCs will consider grabbing one of the thousands of items from the ground to keep for themselves. This usually starts a fight between NPCs, however. It's a strange sight when two townsfolk decide to fight for the death over a cheese wheel or a stolen fork.
8 "Must Have Been The Wind"
When most people see someone die to a flying arrow hitting their chest, most would think that a hostile archer is nearby. Not in Skyrim. NPCs will typically state "must have been the wind" if the player sneaks long enough after a kill.
It's meant to let the player know that the enemy is no longer aware of their presence, but this line heavily implies that death by strong wind is not too uncommon in the frozen reaches of Tamriel. Players can even fire hundreds of arrows at an NPC and they would be none the wiser as to why they keep getting hit.
7 Stating Their Awareness Level
Speaking of stealth, Skyrim's means of disclosing an NPC's awareness state is rather hilarious. When a player raises the attention of nearby enemies but isn't spotted, NPCs will begin to exclaim, "What was that?" and, "Is someone there?" as if that'll reveal the intruder. If a player gets spotted, they'll yell, "Never should have come here!" before they get disintegrated by a shout or spell.
NPCs will even state these things while fighting dragons or giants. Hearing an NPC state "Never should have come here!" after getting catapulted into the sky by a giant never gets old.
6 Repeat The Same Dialogue
Nothing sums up Skyrim better than defeating a dragon in Whiterun only for Nazeem to run around the corner and ask, "Do you get to the Cloud District very often? Oh, what am I saying—of course you don't." This single NPC has spawned thousands of memes because of this moronic statement, but this extends to virtually all characters in the game.
Belethor will always mention selling his sister if he had one, Colette Marence is still debating if Restoration is a viable school of magic, and virtually all NPCs will ask if the player needs something. Repeating dialogue is a large reason why so many memes exist mocking Skyrim's characters.
5 Ignore Traps
Virtually every dungeon in Skyrim has at least one trap to keep players on their toes. Traps are mostly easy to spot and avoid for most players, but it's a whole different story for NPCs.
Companions and enemies will run through traps with little regard for their life. It doesn't matter if its a pendulum of axes or flaming traps, they'll run through it even if the player just avoided it.
4 Run Through Objects
NPCs in Skyrim have a knack for running through geometry for seemingly no reason. Placing dozens of barrels in front of an NPC is no match for their sheer determination.
It isn't uncommon to find characters stuck in crates they got themselves into or trying to walk through a wall mid-conversation. If NPCs could noclip through the environment as the player can with cheats, there's no telling how broken Bethesda's AI would become.
3 Naked Couriers
It seems that some couriers focus so much on delivering packages to the player that they forget to put clothes on. This exceedingly rare bug occurs for seemingly no reason. Couriers will sometimes intercept players and deliver packages like normal, but this time they're only wearing boots and a hat with no chest apparel equipped.
Even though Bethesda has said it's been patched and the Unofficial Skyrim Patch mod has stated they fix this hilarious bug, some players still stumble across this strange courier from time to time.
2 Telepathically Give Items
Quests in Skyrim always have a reward tied to them whether that be gold or a new item. Obtaining strong items is a core part of what makes Skyrim so fun, but isn't it strange that most NPCs don't lift as much as a finger to give players their reward? Take Jarl Balgruuf and the "Dragon Rising" quest.
After defeating their first dragon with the help of a few Stormcloak guards, players return to the Jarl to tell of their heroic deed. Balgruuf gives some exposition about the Greybeards and gives the player an enchanted axe without so much as moving his hand. Virtually every NPC does this when it comes to giving players items.
1 Always Maintain Eye Contact
When the player is close to an NPC, they will begin to make eye contact with the player and maintain it as long as possible. It looks natural when talking to one or two characters, but this becomes uncanny when in a room full of staring NPCs.
Some characters will even stare at the player when walking away from them even in combat. Their dedication to maintaining eye contact is both admirable and hilarious.