The highly anticipated release of The Umbrella Academy's season three has brought fans flooding back to this fantastic show. It's led people to enjoy dance battles, watch another apocalypse, and reminisce on the characters they so adore.
One such character is Number Five. He's smart, a bit sarcastic, and rather selfish, but a joy to watch throughout. His relationship with his family members is difficult at best, but it's one that still brings respect and some hilarious lines. Whether The Umbrella Academy fans love or hate him, it's undeniable that he comes out with some golden quotes. Here are his most memorable ones.
10 "We didn’t Choose This Life, We’re Just Living It"
Typically when a new show begins people will tune in and accept what is being shown. If a group of children are brought up horrendously and trained to be superheroes, people will usually just go along with it. No one ever thinks about why or what they have to say about it unless it is actually said.
That's what makes Five so fantastic. He brings to light these important questions and forces fans to really analyze these lost characters. They may be problematic, but the siblings never had a choice growing up and no one should be forced to go through what they go through.
9 "Wonder If It’s Too Late To Be Un-Adopted"
The majority of The Umbrella Academy is filled with sarcasm, wit, and trauma. As such the characters often fail to recognize the extent to which they are damaged. Nevertheless, they never fail to recognize the better quality of life they would have had if they were only kept with their original parents.
Five's reaction and joke about wanting to be un-adopted may be funny, but it hints at a real regret for being brought up the way he has. It's a slap in the face for the viewers to really see what the world and life would have been like if they weren't adopted.
8 "That's One Badass Stapler"
When The Umbrella Academy shows off the family fighting as a group, viewers really get a sense of their power. These people are trained heroes and have been forced to master their powers through some rather questionable methods. Sometimes that can be easily lost through the constant fighting and sarcastic comments.
Other times, that can be perfectly combined into pristine fighting scenes filled with witty comments when Five is getting on the bank robber's nerves and forcing him to unknowingly fight with a stapler. It's classic, hilarious, and shows just how skilled they really are.
7 "Can You Give That Mannequin Something New To Wear? She Likes Sequins"
Five was lost in time for ages. It's something that he's never truly gotten over and will forever be a point of trauma for him. However, despite that trauma, the creators of The Umbrella Academy have still managed to make being trapped in an apocalypse for years funny.
This is predominantly due to the love affair Five had with the Mannequin, Dolores. This love was hilarious, kind of sweet, and made fun of a lot, which only made it funnier really. Nevertheless, Five seems to really care about Dolores, even going so far as to get a worker to dress her in sequins.
6 "And If You Call Me Young Man One More Time I'm Going To Put Your Head Through That D**m Wall"
It's well known by now that Five is not the age he looks. He's canonically a 58-year-old man in a 13-year-old body which he often expresses that he finds hard to deal with, especially puberty.
Nevertheless, one thing Five clearly doesn't deal well with is being treated like a child. He may use it to his advantage on occasion but when threatened or made to feel like a child he won't hesitate to fight back. This is all the more entertaining when a 13-year-old is threatening a grown man.
5 "You're Alive. That's...Great. Or Possible Horrible"
Losing Ben was a terrible loss for the Umbrella Academy. It was pushed into the children that it was their fault and many blamed themselves for it. Therefore, seeing Ben alive and well in season three but as a part of the Sparrows brought along mixed reactions.
One such mixed reaction was that of Five who seemed to be struggling with his emotions and his calculating brain. He initially thought it was wonderful to see Ben alive but then his thoughts started processing the impact of this timeline and what could have happened.
4 "Truly Happy For You Viktor"
Viktor coming out as trans in season 3 of The Umbrella Academy was an element fans knew about months before it happened. Everyone debated how it would happen and what the other characters would do when he revealed himself. Thankfully, the situation was handled fantastically well and many of the characters seemed to either accept the change or actively congratulate him on finding himself.
Five held a rare moment of sincerity toward Viktor, something he hasn't really done to him for the majority of the show. It was lovely to see the kindness come out for a bit and show that at their core, they all love each other beyond belief.
3 "You Know What They Call A Hero Who Doesn't Listen To Anyone, A Villain"
This quote has an impact on a multitude of people. There was already tension in the group at this point and hurtful words were being thrown around constantly, however, this one just made a lot of fans question the logic.
The Umbrella Academy's members are nothing like the Sparrows. They are unorganized, they don't really like each other, and none of them listen to anyone but themselves. So for Five to say what he said felt a bit hypocritical considering his solo missions and desire to be on his own.
2 "I Cheated Time So Much I Guess I Just Figured I'd Somehow Cheat Death"
Season three seems to bring a new element to The Umbrella Academy. It has the same jokes, bloody fights, and fantastic powers, but this time it also has the addition of a pinch of vulnerability within each character. Allison struggles with the loss of her daughter and husband, Viktor with the loss of Sissy, Luther with the loss of self, and Five with the loss of control.
Throughout the show, viewers have seen Five always trying to be the smartest man in the room. He knows everything, is a great fighter, and has powers that just seem to be perfect for the situation they land themselves in. It would be understandable for him to think he was immortal. So watching himself die in the way he did rightly had an impact. It was just nice to see that admitted, even if it wasn't exactly during a heart-to-heart.
1 "It's An Extra Kinky Kind Of Black Hole"
Five is a 58-year-old man who is incredibly smart and has an understanding of timelines and paradoxes like no other. Yet sometimes that intellect forces him to think he is better than everyone else. Such arrogance promotes him speaking down to his siblings on multiple occasions. This is both rude for them but brings out some hilarious descriptions of what is already a world-ending black hole.
Instead of just saying it's a black hole that will destroy literally everything, he had to put a funny and inappropriate spin onto it. He may be an adult but sometimes that maturity only reaches the 13-year-old.
The Umbrella Academy is out now on Netflix.