Highlights
- Dark Souls features a range of both viable and ridiculous weapons, like the Bonewheel Shield, which can be spun for offensive or defensive playstyles.
- The Fume Ultra Greatsword in Dark Souls is an absurdly large and broad weapon that can also function as a shield.
- Bloodborne introduces the Kos Parasite, a weapon obtained from a difficult boss, which has players swinging their tentacle-like arms in combat.
While most Soulslikes have you swinging around legendary swords or all kinds of other amazing weaponry, sometimes the designs (intentionally, most of the time) get a bit silly. Sure, a giant hammer can be a very fun weapon to use in these games, but one that's double the size of the player model is a bit, well...ridiculous.
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Let's look a bit deeper into this genre and see what wacky, gimmicky, or just straight-up ridiculous weapons pop up. Soulslike fans may be shocked to see just how many examples there are.
10 Bonewheel Shield
Dark Souls
Let's start things off with the game franchise that literally popularized the 'Soulslike' genre, Dark Souls. From Software has never been afraid to add over-the-top weapons to any of its games. Players can use things like ladles, dragon teeth, pickaxes, and even gigantic logs as weapons, with most of these weapons ranging from being viable to use to just actually amazing.
However, in Dark Souls 1 at least, nothing beats the Bonewheel Shield when it comes to practicality versus absurdity. The Bonewheel Skeletons were already ridiculous enough as enemies both in their visuals and how shockingly strong they were, but they're still powerful even when used as a shield. Because players can 'spin' the shield to attack with it, this weapon is also actually very beginner-friendly since works well with both an offensive or defensive playstyle.
9 Smelter Hammer
Dark Souls 2
Dark Souls 2
- Franchise
- dark souls
- Released
- March 11, 2014
- Developer(s)
- From Software
- Publisher(s)
- Bandai Namco Entertainment , From Software
Moving on to Dark Souls 2, this game has an astonishing amount of weapons in it (over 220, at least) so obviously there are going to be some more over-the-top or silly weapons mixed in there. And while things like the Gyrm Great Hammer (a literal anvil on a stick) or the Butcher's Knife are so huge it feels almost ironic, neither of them comes close to the 'chicken drumstick' looking weapon that is the Smelter Hammer. This failed (and now melted) axe is quite literally just a gigantic lump of metal, and when a player manages to dual-wield two of these things, there's nothing in the game that looks more ridiculous.
8 Fume Ultra Greatsword
Dark Souls 3
Dark Souls 3
- Franchise
- dark souls
- Released
- March 24, 2016
- Developer(s)
- From Software
- Publisher(s)
- Bandai Namco Entertainment , From Software
The Fume Ultra Greatsword that appears first in Dark Souls 2 and then appears again in Dark Souls 3 is probably one of the most absurd weapons From Software has ever made. Not only does this gigantic 'sword' somehow manage to make the Dragonslayer from Berserk look average-sized, but it is also broad enough to work well as a shield.
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This was the main weapon that Raime AKA the Fume Knight used in Dark Souls 2 and it was terrifying to fight against. Now, in the hands of a player, this thing will absolutely flatten any enemy foolish enough to get close, and this is especially true thanks to its Weapon Skill, Stomp.
7 Kos Parasite
Bloodborne
Despite how seriously Bloodborne'sLovecraftian atmosphere seems to take itself, this game has its fair share of hilariously designed weapons in it. Whether it's the Amygdala Arm, Logarius' Wheel, or the Whirligig Saw, all of these weapons, on a conceptual level, are cartoonishly silly. However, when they're actually used, these weapons end up being pretty brutal to use against the creatures of Yharnam.
Still, even the 'Pizza Cutter' that is the Whirligig saw has nothing on one of the last weapons players will obtain in Bloodborne, the Kos Parasite. This weapon is obtained from the Orphan of Kos, arguably the most difficult and 'final' boss of Bloodborne. Yet, instead of getting the same placenta-flail weapon the Orphan of Kos used, players get the Kos Parasite instead, a weapon that has them swinging around their arms (which are now tentacles) like they're some sort of furious octopus. And the best part of all, this weapon is also strong statistically, it's not just a 'joke weapon'.
6 Ringed Finger
Elden Ring
Elden Ring
- Platform(s)
- PS5 , Xbox One , PS4 , Xbox Series X , Xbox Series S , PC
- Released
- February 25, 2022
- Developer(s)
- From Software
- Publisher(s)
- Bandai Namco Entertainment , From Software
Last up for the From Software games is the most recent release, Elden Ring. Now Elden Ring has hundreds of weapons in it, with a good handful of them being easily defined as 'absurd' or 'ridiculous'. Weapons such as the Grafted Blade Greatsword, Wing of Astel, Ripple Blade, Rusted Anchor, or even the Envoy Horns. Yet, like so many other entries on this list, one specific weapon in Elden Ring stands above the rest when it comes to being completely 'weird', and that's the Ringed Finger Hammer.
There's not much to say about it honestly, the weapon speaks for itself. The Ringed Finger Hammer is, as the name implies, a gigantic finger that's been covered in equally gigantic rings that players can swing around as a weapon. However, horrifyingly enough, the finger is still somewhat 'alive' and actually has an attack called the Claw Flick which has the finger (and this is no joke) 'flicking' whatever target is in front of it for a decent amount of damage.
5 Scampuss Fists
Nioh 2
Nioh 2
- Franchise
- Nioh
- Released
- March 13, 2020
- Developer(s)
- Team Ninja
- Publisher(s)
- Koei Tecmo , Sony Interactive Entertainment
Finally, let's start talking about games outside of the From Software games, starting with Nioh 2. There are quite a few weapon types that players can use in this game, from Tonfas to Splitstaffs and even Kusarigamas. However, all of these weapons are pretty practical in terms of their designs.
As it turns out, the most 'absurd' looking weapon in Nioh 2 is barely even a weapon at all, as it's a pair of Gauntlets that go over William's fists called the Scampuss Fists. These are named after the adorable (but also offputting) creatures called the Scampuss in Nioh 2, and these fists allow any player to turn their character into a cat fanatic, mowing down Yokai with their paw pads of power.
4 Victim's Poker
Hellpoint
Hellpoint
- Platform(s)
- PS5 , Nintendo Switch , PS4 , Xbox One , PC
- Released
- July 30, 2020
- Developer
- Cradle Games
- Publisher
- tinyBuild
Hellpoint is one of those Soulslikes that everyone has heard the name of at least once, but not a ton of people have actually sat down and played. For those who haven't heard of this beloved indie game, think Soulslike in Space with a Lovecraftian/Occultism horror atmosphere.
The weapons in this game are all very true to the sci-fi blended with an occult theme, with Victim's Poker being one of the earliest (and best) examples. This thing is quite literally just a sword/club that players swing around with some otherworldly creature's organ just sitting in the middle of. There are a few other weapon examples in Hellpoint that would easily fit in with the rest of this list, but the Victim's Poker felt like the best representation overall.
3 Golden Lie
Lies Of P
Lies of P
- Platform(s)
- PC , PS5 , PS4 , Xbox Series X , Xbox Series S , Xbox One
- Released
- September 19, 2023
- Developer(s)
- Round8 Studio , Neowiz
- Publisher(s)
- Neowiz
- Genre(s)
- Soulslike
Next up is probably the most 'plain' looking weapon on here, but it's the circumstances around the weapon that make it so ridiculous. There are a decent number of arguably 'ridiculous' weapons in Lies of P, from the gigantic wrench to a bone-cutting saw with a blade that almost matches Pinocchio's height on its own, but the Golden Lie is still the 'sweetest' example.
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The reason for it being on here is as follows, to get the Golden Lie players will need to make sure and lie at every opportunity they have while progressing through Lies of P (or by listening to records, etc). Then, after bringing the 'Portrait of the Boy' back to Hotel Krat and continuing to lie, players will notice the nose of the boy in the portrait is fully extending out of the painting itself. After a certain point, they'll be able to interact with the (now absurdly long) nose and 'extract' it to get the Golden Lie staff. That's right, this weapon has Pinocchio using the 'nose' of his own portrait as a weapon.
2 Protest Sign
The Surge 2
The Surge 2
- Franchise
- The Surge
- Released
- September 24, 2019
- Developer(s)
- Deck13 Interactive
- Publisher(s)
- Focus Home Interactive
To be quite honest, a good 70 percent of the weapons in the Surge 2 armory could work on this list. Compared to all the weapons in any of the other games on here, almost all of The Surge 2's weaponry is over-the-top, and that's by design. However, that's only when they're compared to other games. Compared to each other, there's only one weapon in TS2 that makes the cut, the Protest Sign.
This is just an actual cardboard sign that players can use as a weapon that they'll see protestors in-game using. Not only is that concept hilarious on its own but given how futuristic the game and weaponry are in The Surge 2, using a cardboard sign in comparison to those weapons somehow feels even worse than using a stick compared to a sword.
1 Body Of Work
Steelrising
Steelrising
- Platform(s)
- PC , PS5 , Xbox Series X , Xbox Series S
- Released
- September 8, 2022
- Developer(s)
- Spiders
Last up is Steelrising, a relatively easy Soulslike that garnered some attention, and is ultimately well-received in general. Steelrising's setting is an alternate version of the French Revolution, one in which robotics have progressed at this point to the level of sci-fi.
So, a lot of the weapons, being used by an automaton, are both mechanical and easily foldable. However, the Body of Work 'hammer' is basically just magic. No sci-fi explanation here, these Alchemical Scrolls have some odd runic language written on them thats both unable to be read and strong enough that just putting them on a stick makes for a pretty amazing weapon.