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Throughout the Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit films, there are lots of examples of different family dynamics, some of which are supporting and caring, and some of which are definitely not. The latter of these types can often be seen in relationships between fathers and sons; for example, that of the disapproving and proud Thranduil with Legolas, and the broken line between Thorin and his father Thrain. Often in his works, Tolkien explores the concept of how the faults of the father leave a lasting impact on the lives of the son. This may be the result of the father’s absence entirely, or the father’s hubris and greed that is passed down.
The most prominent example of father-son dynamics in Tolkein's works is the problematic relationship between Denethor, the Steward of Gondor, and his sons Boromir and Faramir. Each of the sons has a very different connection to their father, and both are complex in different ways. As three individual characters, Denethor, Boromir and Faramir all have a lot in common in terms of their nobility, their perseverance, and their unwillingness to ask for help even when they clearly need it. But beyond that, there’s one particular trait that Denethor's two sons have — one that turns out to be the most dangerous thing in both of their lives. Boromir and Faramir share one fatal flaw: their desperation to prove themselves to their father.
Boromir: Living Up To Impossible Expectations
For Boromir, this thirst to prove himself is wrapped up in always being the one that his father turns to. In many ways, Denethor’s approval of Boromir is as much of a curse as his disdain for Faramir, because it means that Boromir is has the weight of his fathers expectations to carry. Denethor demands so much of his oldest son, and Boromir therefore has to go to ridiculous lengths to please him and to live up to what is ordered of him.
In fact, in one of the extended edition scenes in The Fellowship of the Ring, this is revealed to be the reason that Boromir goes to Rivendell to join the fellowship in the first place. He has been sent to collect the ring and bring it back to Gondor under his father’s control. Denethor has convinced him that this is the only way to save the city, and that Boromir is the only man in the kingdom who can be trusted for such an essential job. Although this does differ in the book, there is still a sense of needing to uphold the honor and pride of his father. This ultimately leads to Boromir's obsession with the ring, which makes it all the easier for the dark object to manipulate and corrupt him. In trying to take the ring from Frodo, and then fighting to protect Merry and Pippin and regain his honor, Boromir dies. Thus, this characteristic of always giving in to Denethor’s whims becomes fatal to him.
Faramir: Trying To Prove His Father Wrong
Faramir has suffered the exact opposite of Boromir growing up. Denethor deeply disapproves of his younger son and everything that he does, and seems to despise any effort that Faramir makes to appease him. Faramir lives in Boromir’s shadow, because that is where their father has always placed him. No matter what noble or courageous deeds he ever does, it isn’t enough in Denethor’s eyes. This is demonstrated painfully in the scene in which Denethor orders Faramir to retake the fallen keep of Osgilliath, even though it is completely overrun and there is very little chance of survival. Faramir says the famous quote, “If I should return, think better of me, Father.” Denethor replies only, “That depends on the manner of your return.”
Even after this cruel treatment all his life, Faramir is still desperate to prove his worth to his father, and, like Boromir, is willing to go as far as dying for it. This is what makes the characteristic such a fatal flaw for both brothers. Luckily, Faramir manages to survive this folly, but only just, and only because of the ancient healing arts that Aragorn is able to use in the Houses of Healing.
The two brothers both go about it in very different ways. Boromir is always beholden to what his father thinks is right, while Faramir more inclined to do what he himself thinks is right, even if it goes against what his father wants. Yet, both of them are bound by their past and the way that their father raised them. They have both shaped into very brave, very noble men, but it is difficult to argue that this is because of the treatment their father gave them, and is instead despite their father's influence. Denethor's cruelty made them both who they are, but at what cost?