One of the most difficult love triangles in any movie series is that of Aragorn, Eowyn and Arwen. Eowyn is a human woman, a shield maiden of Rohan no more than 20 years of age, whereas Arwen is an immortal and wise elf, born with the grace of the Valar. And Aragorn, being a member of the Dunedain awarded long life, exists somewhere between the two.
Aragorn is human, like Eowyn, but was raised among the elf-kind in Rivendell, and so he exists with one foot in each world, which is what makes him such a strong and noble leader, but also what makes him a kind-hearted man who doesn’t wish to break hearts. Ultimately though, he pities Eowyn as a young and naive child who has suffered much in the dark war of Sauron, whereas he loves Arwen because he sees her as an equal with whom he can build a future.
Subsequently, Eowyn’s love for the king of Gondor remains unrequited, and she resolves herself to die nobly and honorably in battle rather than waste away for the love of a man who cannot love her in return. Defeating the Witch King lands her in the House of Healing where she meets Faramir, who has been injured in the battle of Osgiliath as he tries to reclaim the fallen keep for his father Denethor who detests him so much.
The two fall for one another, which is barely touched upon in the extended versions of the Return of the King Peter Jackson movie, and even less so in the theater version, but is quite a predominant chapter within the book. For those who haven’t read the original writing, it would be easy to see the brief scenes in Jackson's films as a cop-out for Eowyn's character, a way to neatly tie up the loose ends of her story by having her settle for Faramir in order to move on from Aragorn who scorned her. But in the books, this isn’t the case, and actually, Faramir earns her love over an extended period of time.
Eowyn is a character who is very self-aware, and very afraid of her position as a woman in a world like Middle Earth. She has probably seen atrocious things done to people she really cares about, and there are hints even in the movies about what really happened to Eomer and Eowyn's parents as they were brutally murdered by orcs during a raid. She is a young woman who has known much grief in her short time, and it has made her vulnerable. She wishes to be a valiant soldier, a brave and fearless warrior who puts to rights all the wrongs that have been done in her lifetime, but she is at the merc of powers far greater than her own.
Eowyn is no stranger to the dangers of men, and there are several times when Wormtongue almost succeeds in his desire to own her and enslave her in a life of misery, so when she meets Aragorn, she sees all of the things that she aspires to be. She sees someone brave and noble, yet kind-hearted and just. She sees someone she would wish to emulate, which is why she quickly falls for him. But the brave and noble Aragorn may have a dishonorable side after all, because he sees her as a naive child who should stay behind with the women and children of her kingdom.
This is something that she slowly comes to realize over the course of the books. After several of Eowyn's most undermining moments, in which she only widens the gap between her young existence and the mighty future king, she comes to realize that he will never love her in return, because he will never see her as his equal. Even after the battle against the Witch King, he is in the position of power to heal her.
That’s when she meets Faramir, who opens her eyes to a world where there is hope in the darkness she has found all around her. Faramir admires her beauty, but there is a deep sadness within it, both for the heartbreak of Aragorn, and for the tragedy of Theoden's death, who dies at the battle of Pelennor Fields. He empathizes with her sorrow, and he wishes to walk with her in the gardens in the houses of healing, in order to learn about her and from her, to understand the great precipice of darkness she feels, at this time when all the world seems dark and the only hope of salvation is Frodo and Sam destroying the ring.
Eowyn agrees to walk with him, and it begins to help her heal, and over time they grow to be friends. But when Faramir is asked to leave, to go and help the king, Eowyn feels a new sense of loss, unlike anything she has felt before. He asks her about her love for Aragorn, and she responds “I desired to be loved by another, but I desire no man’s pity. ” She doesn’t want to be seen as a poor, wounded creature, which is exactly what Aragorn has always seen her as, and she fears that Faramir too will feel sorry for her because she is a 'wilted, heartbroken thing', but Faramir’s answer surprises her: “ I do not offer you my pity. For you are a lady high and valiant and have won yourself renown that shall not be forgotten.”
Here, finally, she has met someone who sees her as an equal, who values her worth as a warrior and a person, rather than lingering upon all of the darkness that she has faced: “Once I pitied your sorrow. But now, were you sorrowless, without fear or any lack, were you the blissful Queen of Gondor, still, would I love you.”
There is so much that can be learned from Eowyn and Faramir’s relationship. How to earn someone’s loyalty and respect over time, instead of trying to force it or own it as Grima does, how to help encourage someone and build them up, rather than seeing them as flawed or damaged because of the challenges they have faced as Aragorn does, and how to build a future with someone based on mutual love and communication. At this point in her journey, Eowyn would have forged ahead, alone, and been content in living her life independently, but Faramir taught her that there is love after loss, and that it could help her find the healing that she has been seeking all her life.
