Bill is one of the most complex characters in King of the Hill. A lot of his jokes are about how sad his life is compared to everyone else. There is one theme that ties all characters to the show together: ignorance. Hank is a well-meaning Everyman that wants to see the good in people.
He just doesn’t understand the complex ways of other societies, including teenagers. Dale is paranoid. He’s a classic conspiracy nut. Boomhauer is just Boomhauer. But Bill, his personality in King of the Hill, besides deep depression, is that he is the epitome of ignorance. He takes the meaning to a new level. These lines and accompanying episodes are proof of that. Bill does get some wins though, which are also highlighted.
10 “I’m So Depressed I Can’t Even Blink”
Bill says this in the cold opening of King of the Hill wherein the boys are reminiscing about their time in the scouts. This eventually leads to Bill looking deadpan at the ground and uttering those words followed by silence and then the theme song playing.
It’s so obviously depressing that it is hard not to laugh. Bill is an overall over-the-top character when it comes to any action or emotion. This is in the episode “The Order of the Straight Arrow.”
9 “Of Course, They Lock Those Up”
“Texas City Twister” is an episode about an impending tornado about to hit Hank’s hometown. In the meantime, he is trying to flip Luanne’s trailer over, so she can move out of the house. That’s when Bill suggests that he could get them a tank since he works at the army base.
He also says they have bulldozers, but they lock them up. That’s what this quote is referring to. The idea that the army locks up bulldozers but not tanks is a riot.
8 “That’s Just Demeaning To The Human Beings That Make Pudding”
“Bobby Slam” is an episode where Bobby tries to join the school wrestling team. Eventually, this leads Bill into talking about lady wrestling with the other boys in the alleyway. He likes the sport except when they do it in the pudding.
That’s when he says this line. It is essentially a joke at the expense of Bill’s weight. He is apparently so constantly hungry that he doesn’t want to see food wasted just for exploitative sports. That is a classic King of the Hill joke at Bill's expense.
7 “This Is The Part Of The Movie Where I Start Thinking Why Don’t They Just Get Out Of The House?”
Bill is many things. Being scared when there is no reason to be is one of them. In the episode “Meet the Manger Babies” Hank brushes off an appearance with Luanne, so he can watch the game.
He does so with his friends but in the middle of the game, the channel keeps changing on its own. That’s when Bill screams about horror movies. Was there a ghost behind this channel surfing or was there something more divine at play in King of the Hill?
6 “You Got Yourself A Good Man There Hank”
In “Propane Boom Part 1” Hank loses his job after Mr. Strickland decides he can’t compete with Mega Lo Mart. Hank goes over his stresses about money with the fellas in the alley, which prompts Bill to talk about Peggy.
He basically implies that it is great that Hank has her in the house to be the breadwinner as a backup, but he says it the worst way possible. The line is funny, but so is the action that happens afterward involving Bill running away scared.
5 “Only Eight?”
Bill is not one to complain about food. Throughout the series, he eats a lot of questionable things. For example, in “Pregnant Paws” he has Bobby give him some doggy treats. He likes them so much that he bargains with Bobby to get him more.
In return, Bill will tell Bobby about how Bobby was born into this world. Upon his return, Bill is dissatisfied with only eight biscuits, but he tells Bobby the story anyway.
4 “Maybe If You Bought Him Another Bowling Ball It’d Be Like Before Peggy Came”
“Jon Vitti Presents Return to La Grunta” is one of the more wild episodes of King of the Hill involving a dolphin assaulting Hank. He is understandably embarrassed so he tries to cover it up with Luanne. Before this happens, Luanne wants to buy Hank a gift and asks the boys in the alley for ideas.
That’s when Bill suggests a bowling ball and goes through a sad story about how he and Hank used to pretend they were brothers. This story is followed by an awkward, but funny silence.
3 “This Isn’t Some Kinda Elaborate Joke On Me Is It?”
Bill is often the butt of most jokes in King of the Hill. This isn’t the case in “Dog Dale Afternoon” when the boys decide to steal Dale’s new tractor to teach him a lesson. Bill is over the moon with glee because he realizes how fun pranks are when they aren’t about him.
That’s when the doubt starts to sink in. Is this just some elaborate prank on Bill instead? It isn’t, but Bill has a lot of insecurities. It's one of the saddest parts of his character, but it's also hard not to laugh.
2 “Both Of ’Em”
“A Beer Can Named Desired” finds Hank getting the chance to win money at the Super Bowl. All he has to do is throw a football into a giant can or have some other football player do it for him. Bill and the other boys tag along because Bill has family down in Louisiana.
Upon visiting them, Bill finds out he has the chance to get with three widows. The only catch is one of them is his cousin. In the end, Peggy is about to ask if Bill had fun, to which he replies with “Both of ‘em!” There aren’t a lot of episodes where Bill gets this lucky.
1 “Mr. Big Is Gonna Kill Us”
In “Soldier of Misfortune” Dale is down in the dumps. Hank gets the bright idea to hire him for a fake stealth mission to boost his confidence. As is always the case, Dale screws up a simple job and turns it into a conspiracy theory.
Dale thinks Mr. Big, Hank’s alias, is going to kill him. Upon finding that news out, Bill is convinced of this as well when he says this line. It’s funny because Bill should know there is no danger since Mr. Big is Hank.