Developers IO Interactive struck gold again when they released Hitman 2, a sandbox assassination game that gives players incredible freedom in the way they approach the game’s goals. Along the way, players are bound to find some hilarious methods when it comes to killing both targets and innocent bystanders who happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.
These kills can range from silly accidents to raging infernos that stop witnesses in their tracks. Some of these kills require a bit of extra work, but the end results are so worth the time commitment. And if that’s not enough, the original game has some hilariously brutal kills as well.
10 Spontaneous Combustion
Red barrels: when gamers see these, they know what to do. These barrels are slightly less explosive in the Hitman series, but they still offer the potential to lure unsuspecting NPCs to a savage and comic early demise. There’s just something hilarious about an NPC walking into a huge pool of oil just to pick up a worthless coin.
Simply puncture the barrel using a screwdriver or silenced pistol, then wait for an NPC to get close enough (a well-placed coin throw should do the trick). Shoot the pooling oil, and watch as 47’s bumbling victim dances around in the flames. It’s not the deadliest method in the games, but it is so satisfying.
9 Anything While Wearing The Flamingo Suit
Hitman 2’s iconic Miami level also lets players don a ridiculous pink flamingo suit, which can be acquired by pacifying the real mascot in the subterranean parking lot underneath the map. Not only does this flamingo suit grant access to several areas, but it also makes the world’s deadliest assassin look like a total freak of nature. Takedowns while wearing the flamingo disguise feel even better than they did before. Maybe you’ve seen pigs fly, but have you seen Agent 47 gun down a target dressed as a giant bird?
8 Maldives: The Water Horse Story Mission
Steven Bradley, a young tech millionaire who looks like a cheap knockoff of Ninja from Die Antwoord, loves riding his jet ski around Haven Island. Once Agent 47 secures the keys from his SCUBA instructor, he can plant a remote explosive on Bradley’s jet ski. Bradley represents the entitled, narcissistic tech bros that give the industry a bad name, so it makes his death all the more hilarious.
Hit the detonator when you’ve had enough, and watch Bradley go flying into the stratosphere. Pro tip: while players can find a remote explosive at the radio tower security room, they can also bring their own explosives during the mission’s Planning stage.
7 Mumbai: Gone With The Wind Story Mission
Hitman 2’s Mumbai level, home to one of IO’s best-designed villains, features a Bollywood movie production that’s about to take flight in more ways than one. Target Dawood Rangan has a scene to shoot atop one of Mumbai’s skyscrapers, and 47, disguised as a member of the film crew, is there to help.
Sabotage the industrial fan that Rangan plans to use during filming, and one of the franchise’s funniest moments is ready for its closeup. Once Rangan (who is ironically wearing a pair of prosthetic wings) takes the stage, increase the power and watch as the actor goes flying off the side of the building. Rangan may be gone, but he’s sure made one unforgettable snuff film.
6 Isle Of Sgail: A Phoenix From The Ashes Story Mission
This is one of Hitman2’s more sadistic missions, but the tone that IO Interactive strike with their more brutal kills actually makes this one a pleasure to carry out. Disguised as the master of ceremonies during a bizarre Ark Society ritual, 47 traps Zoe Washington — a Providence agent — inside a giant metal phoenix before setting her on fire. Zoe, like many Hitman villains, deserves her fate, which makes this dazzling inferno of a kill hilarious in a sick kind of way. Revenge isn’t just sweet, it’s got a sense of humor, too.
5 Drowned In The Toilet
There are bathrooms in every level of Hitman 2, which makes for both a great place to kill and hide NPCs. The scatological humor might come on a bit strong with this one, but it’s undeniably one of the funniest ways to dispose of both targets and random citizens.
Nearby NPCs can be lured using coins or distractions, but a more reliable solution is to poison targets’ food or drink with emetic rat poison or emetic pills. Once they’re standing over the toilet, drown them in their own puke for an accidental kill no one will forget any time soon.
4 Smoking Kills
We’ve all been taught that smoking is bad for our health, but 47 has found one way to teach this lesson a bit more effectively. A great reminder of why it’s a terrible idea to smoke at a gas station, the Whittleton Creek story mission “No Smoking Area” features 47 taking out Janus — the elderly former Constant from Providence — with an explosive oxygen tank.
Simply procure a pack of cigarettes from the bushes outside Janus’ house, then tamper with the oxygen tank using a wrench found outside in the shed. Kick back and watch the dangers of smoking unfold at hypersonic speed.
3 Defenestration In New York
Infiltrating a huge New York City bank is a joy, not just because 47 gets to throw the bank president out a window, but also because you get to crash the global stock market along the way. Why ruin one person’s life when you can ruin the whole world’s? This particular mission is a great example of what makes Hitman so good.
Head to the bank president’s office and tamper with the giant clock window. Then disguise yourself as a sweater-wearing investment banker who’s about to be fired. The bank’s president mocks 47 for his ugly sweaters before backing up against the damaged clock. Do the world a favor and yeet this member of the fashion police out the window.
2 The Iron Maiden
No, this isn’t the band we’re talking about. At the top of the castle tower on the Isle of Sgail is a medieval torture device that 47 can trap target Sophia Washington inside. Complete the “Winds of Change” story mission and this amateur treasure hunter will soon end up like an Indiana Jones stunt gone wrong.
There’s huge irony in Sophia being brutally murdered this way. She’s head of the Ark Society, a secret brotherhood of the world’s richest people attempting to trick, outlast, and steal from the working class. She wants to live forever, but the iron maiden will make sure the opposite happens instead.
1 Miami: Kill Everyone
Hitman 2’s Miami level has a secret easter egg for the dedicated player. If 47 kills everyone on the map (a huge feat, since there are insane numbers of NPCs to deal with), a hilarious voice message will play over the racetrack speaker system. A nod to Youtuber bigMooney06’s “Kill Everyone” challenges, the Scottish announcer congratulates 47 on killing everybody and says the Global Innovation Race should be renamed the "Global F***ing Genocide."
The fact that IO Interactive is listening to what their community is creating and doing makes this easter egg even better. And if you finish Hitman 2 early, there are loads more easter eggs to be found in its sequel, Hitman 3.
Hitman 2 is available on PC, PS4, Xbox One, and Stadia.