Elden Bling or picking fashion over function in Elden Ring might be the dream and all, but it turns out sacrificing safety for style (or swag) can easily turn into a nightmare. And apart from the difficulty, there are other reasons to choose certain armor sets that can and will ruin the Elden Bling potential of a character.
One of the biggest reasons is min-maxing or catering to certain builds. Because some builds require specific items for peak performance and certain armor pierces can be among those. So sadly, some players are just going to have to suck it up especially with these armor sets below since the benefits they provide are too substantial to ignore in favor of fashion.
8 "Burger King" Glintstone Crowns
- Perk: Increases Intelligence but with a small drawback
Anyone who has seen the Burger King mascot likely won't be intimidated anymore by the enemies of Raya Lucaria Academy. Those wizards commonly wear the rock Glintstone Crown helmets which look like vandalized busts made to look like headgear. They come in different varieties but usually have something in common: they increase Intelligence.
The amount and specific stat bonus vary per Glintstone Crown. However, certain variants can give a total of +6 distributed to the stat sheet. That allows players to save up on levels and allocate leveling Runes to other stats instead once the softcap has been reached.
7 Azur's Glintstone Crown
- Perk: Increases Comet Azur, Glintstone Comet Shard, and Comet damage along with FP consumption for all spells
Comet Azur is still one of the most damaging spells in Elden Ring in the right hands, even after update 1.04. In order to boost it more and squeeze every last drop of damage bonus from the in-game items for Comet Azur's damage, Azur's Glintstone Crown is necessary.
He's the one who invented the spell, after all, so it's only thematic that his helmet gives one of the biggest permanent buffs to it. For some, it does break Elden Bling since the only armor set it looks good with is Azur's Set. Any other armor pieces make it stick out like a sore thumb or someone wearing a Himalayan salt lamp on their head to battle.
6 Mushroom Crown
- Perk: Raises attack power when something nearby suffers from poison or rot
There's probably no explanation needed for why this helmet is considered wacky. Someone literally planted fungus on their head and probably repeatedly urinated on it to make it grow like that. But make no mistake, this helmet is powerful and not just for poison or scarlet rot builds.
The attack rating increase it gives upon detecting either poison or scarlet rot is significant and lasts 20 seconds. It also stacks with other attack rating buffs such as Golden Vow, Lord of Blood's Exultation, and more. If players want, they can even poison themselves and cure immediately, and the buff will still be active. The downside might just be well worth it.
5 White Mask
- Perk: Raises attack power when there is blood loss nearby
Varre's White Mask is the Bleed version of the Mushroom Crown though it looks more serviceable in terms of appearance. But that doesn't mean it's stylish enough. If anything, it's difficult trying to make any strong armor set fit well with the White Mask's design. It's literally just a towel draped over a dirty opera mask.
But hey, it's great for cosplaying as Michael Myers from Halloween. It's even better for increasing attack rating by around 10 percent for several dozen seconds after Blood Loss gets detected in the vicinity. Players can easily trigger it using the Seppuku Ash of War. For Bleed builds? It's almost mandatory; otherwise, expect lower damage without it.
4 Albinauric Mask
- Perk: Raises Arcane, but reduces the HP recovery effects of the Flask of Crimson Tears
What else is a good alternative for Varre's White Mask that offers a bonus too good for Bleed builds to pass up? Another goofy helmet, the Albinauric Mask. Someone in the Lands Between looked at one of those mutant Albinaurics and immediately thought that they like that Teletubbies look.
In any case, the Albinauric Mask lets players save up four levels if they're running a Bleed build or at least something that relies on the Arcane stat. The reduced healing amount is negligible enough considering this mask is also best used for farming items and Runes.
3 Fire Prelate Armor
- Perk: Incredible fire resistance and poise
There's a meme and joke cosplay fad going around about Fat Malenia, and it uses this armor because it essentially looks like a fat suit. Not that there's anything wrong with the look, but it typically only goes well with its other set pieces. Regardless, those who are wearing this are certainly not doing it for aesthetics.
They might be fighting something that breathes or throws fire. Because the Fire Prelate Armor boasts the highest fire resistance out of all the body armor in Elden Ring. Coupled with impeccable poise, the Fire Prelate Armor is a great tool for bosses like the Fire Giant or similar enemies.
2 Bullgoat Armor
- Perk: Highest poise and protection in the game
Some mage builds have even resorted to this monster despite ruining their scholarly appearance because its defense is simply too high. The Bullgoat Armor when completed, offers 100 poise and a ton of defense except the full also weighs a ton so most characters who don't wear weight talismans or can't afford to increase their Endurance stat will be limited to one piece of armor.
In many cases, it's the body armor. Within its own set, it looks great, but when paired with other lighter pieces, characters will start looking like children wearing large carton boxes with cutouts for the arms. Those horns don't do fashion-oriented players a favor.
1 Godskin Noble Robe
- Perk: Increasing the damage of the Noble Presence incantation
Yet again another fat suit but this time, a more grotesque one since it's literally made from people's skins. That's why it's so jiggly and fleshy. Players can even see the faces of presumably the victims used as sacrifices for this obscene display of wealth and status.
So why wear it? Because it turns the Noble Presence incantation into a boss and player-killing machine. It's a 20 percent damage boost that stacks with other buffs, something incantation users have access to thanks to their high Faith. Sure enough, there's no aesthetically compatible armor piece with this other than its set pieces. Might as well complete the Godskin Noble look and traumatize people in invasions.
Elden Ring is available on PC, PlayStation 4, Xbox One, PlayStation 5, and Xbox Series X/S.