Lisa: The Painful is one of the best indie RPGs around, and it's perfect for fans who want a bleak and desolate game that is chock-full of dark humor. The twisted minds behind this game have crafted an absolute masterpiece that deserves all the love in the world for being unabashedly unique, featuring a wealth of playable characters and unique enemy encounters that will keep players laughing every step of the way...up until the ending, that is.
The game can be challenging for those not familiar with turn-based RPGs, and having the best weapons becomes important for players who want to maximize their damage as much as possible. With a party that is decked out with high-end gear, even the toughest enemies in Lisa: The Painful can become manageable as players wail at their health bars with their most powerful attacks.
7 Knife: Combat Knife
The most powerful weapon in the game is wielded by a party member whom many people miss out on, since trying to recruit him involves visiting a secret area that is extremely well-hidden. Carp is one of the best people to aid Brad's journey, with his speed and attack making him a force to be reckoned with.
Once players get to Fishman Town and get the Green Paste that this character needs, players can recruit him and give this character the weapon with the highest attack stat in the game. The combat knife can slice even the strongest foes into ribbons. Players will definitely covet it if they want to take out the toughest enemies in the latter stages of the game.
6 Sub Machine Gun: Dandy Boy
The Sub Machine Gun can only be wielded by three party members. Two of them can be found at Garbage Island, which is more easily accessible than trying to recruit Harvey in the secretive Fishman Town. This gun hits like a truck and can have its damage enhanced heavily if players get the best variant.
The Dandy Boy is present in Resort Island, and requires a bit of hunting since it's in a hidden room. Seeking out this weapon is worth the effort, since Brad's friends can riddle their enemies full of holes and take them out in record time.
5 Bow: Martlo Bow
Olan is one of the best party members in the game that players should rely on if they want to make things easier for themselves. This is pretty surprising, given the fact that he uses a rudimentary bow to attack his enemies...but this isn't necessarily a bad thing.
With a weapon as powerful as the Martlo Bow, Olan can launch pinpoint shots and use his techniques to destroy enemies. He's a deadly sharpshooter, and it helps that this bow increases his agility and lets him move faster in battle and take out an enemy before players have to suffer any unnecessary damage.
4 Wristband: Queen Bands
Many party members in Lisa: The Painful rely on good-ol' fisticuffs to carry them in a fight. This includes the protagonist himself, who can be pretty powerful and can take out most enemies using his powerful techniques...as long as he can use his limbs, that is.
For these party members, it's important to equip them with powerful wristbands that let them smash enemies with heightened damage. The Queen Bands is the hardest-hitting "weapon" that these bare-knuckle brawlers can bring with them in battle. The description hints towards a mysterious female basketball player who was the original owner of these bands.
3 Handgun: Snubby
Holly Wood is a great area where players should spend their hard-earned mags to attain some of the best weapons in the game. One such firearm is Snubby, a weapon that sounds positively ridiculous but can dish out a ton of pain in the right hands.
Thankfully, there's a perfect party member that players can equip this handgun on — Buckets. This party member joins the gang after Brad wins ten rounds of roulette. The player's save-scumming is rewarded with one of the best party members who hits like a truck and can one-shot enemies with this powerful handgun.
2 Club: The Homer
Queen is one of the most interesting party members that players can recruit in their gang. Brad essentially has to sell out his services and please a total of three men before this character joins the party. He's an excellent party member to have, mainly because of the clubs he can use to wallop his enemies.
The Homer is the best weapon that players can equip on this character, with this baseball bat boasting a high attack and easily tripping most enemies. Given how important it is to exploit status effects in Lisa: The Painful, it's easy to see why most people would cover The Homer if players love Queen's strength and want to exploit it as much as possible.
1 Katana: Sword Bundle
It's a shame that Crisp Ladaddy is recruited so late into the game, since he had the potential to be a truly special party member. He comes equipped with the best (and only) weapon in its class that can't be removed, showing just how attached he is to the multiple swords on his person.
Players who are patient enough to level Crisp up a bit will love what this character brings to the table, using a wealth of abilities to slice and dice opponents with ease. His bundle of swords clearly helps out a ton, but this party member is a costly one to have on the team since all his moves require SP, including his regular attack.
Lisa: Definitive Edition is available on PC, PS4, PS5, Switch, Xbox One, and Xbox Series X/S.