The original Super Mario Bros. movie was panned at the time for not being anything like the video games. While true, that didn’t stop a lot of kids, and adults, from enjoying its bizarre nature. There is a lot that went wrong with the production, including two directors that no one in the cast seemed to like, along with injuries on set.
Those are only a couple of highlights to note in the original Super Mario Bros. movie. As weird as the behind-the-scenes stuff got, somehow, an entertaining movie made it onto the big screen. As cheesy as these lines may sound, they’re still funny thirty years later. There will be spoilers.
8 “Strap Your Belt On Kid, We’re Going In.”
This was an epic line said by Mario in Super Mario Bros. Luigi and Daisy race to get him once they find out the dig site is being flooded. It’s an emergency, but it’s not a disaster movie-level of emergency wherein the lives of people are at stake.
That’s why it’s so funny that Bob Hoskins, as Mario, delivers this line so seriously. That's part of the reason why this movie works: it’s so earnest in everything it tries to convey.
7 “How Many Marios Are There Between The Two Of You?”
One of the stranger changes in the movie is that Mario and Luigi have the last name of Mario. When they get to the police station in the Mushroom Kingdom, Sergeant Simon and the two brothers have a “who’s on first” moment. Sergeant Simon is confused, which is why he asks this line about the Marios.
As much as Super Mario Bros. changes things, it would have been wilder if a third brother was introduced into the mix. Kudos to the production team for holding back on the Mario triplets.
6 “It’s Clean And It’s Dirty At The Same Time.”
Dennis Hopper clearly had a great time playing one of the strangest portrayals of King Koopa ever. He doesn’t quite get to the highs of Blue Velvet, but his version of Koopa is zany and oddly sexual at times. This line about the mud is one example, which is not a reference to the games at all.
Why does this Koopa love mud, hate mammals, and is a germaphobe? It’s anyone’s guess at this point, but overall this version is just plain weird. Maybe Jack Black will go even zanier with him.
5 “Dance With Me, I’ll Hit You All You Like.”
The Mario franchise is one of the most wholesome video game franchises of all time. That’s why it’s so wild to see such adult themes in this movie, such as the dance club. A good example is the scene between Big Bertha and Mario here. This line was said by Big Bertha after Mario asks her to hit him again. It has odd sexual charge to it. Who knew that Mario would be such a player in the live-action version?
This scene is also great because of the song “Walk the Dinosaur” by Was (Not Was). It may be an on-the-nose song for a movie predominantly about dinosaurs, but it’s still fun.
4 “Sir, The Goombas Are Dancing Again.”
For such a minor character, Sergeant Simon has some of the best lines. He says this line to Koopa over the radio as Koopa is trying to get the Crystal from Daisy.
The idea that these giant versions of Goombas are into dancing in the first place is incredible. To have it be referenced at least three times is even more magical. It may be a silly joke, but it is worth laughing at since the Goombas look so happy while they dance.
3 “Trust The Fungus.”
Luigi is absolutely fascinated with the fungus throughout Super Mario Bros. He keeps seeing the Bob-omb and thinks the fungus is trying to help. He also makes the reference to the fungus catching their car like it just sneezed them out.
Luigi will not stop talking to Mario about the fungus, and it turns out he was right. The fungus turns out to be the remains of the true king of Mushroom Kingdom, King Bowser. When Luigi tells Mario to “Trust the fungus” toward the end of the movie, Mario finally gives in.
2 “It’s A Bob-omb!”
Mario couldn’t have waited for a better time to listen to his brother Luigi. He takes the Bob-omb, a classic item and enemy in the Mario series, which prompts citizens all over the Mushroom Kingdom to scream this line about it.
There is seemingly no reason for them to be this upset. The Bob-omb is tiny and it moves at a snail’s pace like a children’s toy. Big surprises come in small packages as they say and this particular Bob-omb’s journey eventually pays off. The random citizens of this derelict society must all have clairvoyance or something.
1 “You’re Never Gonna Believe This!”
Thirty years later, Super Mario Bros. is finally getting a followup via The Super Mario Bros. Movie. Except, of course, it isn’t a sequel; instead, it is a new story. It’s sad considering that the end of the 1993 version sets itself up to be a franchise.
Daisy crashes into the Mario Bros.’ apartment at the end, screaming this line while armed to the teeth. She looks like Rambo or something with the amount of gear she has on. While the sequel never came, one can at least give this line some kudos for being optimistic.