Gamers are sure to argue over whether Assassin's Creed Valhalla has either a deep or a convoluted storyline, and will do so for months to come. With DLC on the horizon, the debate isn't likely to die down anytime soon. But plots, both good and bad, are a series of moments. And for just a brief and profound portion of time, players can unify over uplifting phrases, encouraging advice, and hilarious taunts. They appreciate them regardless of the overall game structure.
These snippets of the story arc are best summarized by quotations. Villains and allies alike take their turn in the spotlight of conversation as, for better or worse, they pontificate on their philosophical ideals. Or sometimes they just want to talk a little smack. With an audience as diverse as the gamers who play Assassin's Creed, both deep and shallow quotes never go to waste.
10 "What Profit Does Open War Bring?"
King Styrbjorn is not one of the franchise's best villains in Assassin's Creed Valhalla, but he's certainly not seen in a positive light. He forfeits his throne to King Harold without consulting his son and heir to the throne, Sigurd.
His adopted son, protagonist Eivor, is also displeased by the decision, though this should not stop players from grabbing bit of wisdom from their soon-to-be-estranged father. Later in the story, Eivor expresses a changed mind about both Styrbjorn and Harold.
9 "I Smell The Stink Of A Dozen Kingdoms In Your Beard."
There are many pro tips that players should look up and master before completing Assassin's Creed Valhalla, but none of them are important as fostering a healthy relationship between Eivor and his brother, Sigurd.
After several years apart while Sigurd traveled the world, Eivor welcomes him back and immediately insults his bathing habits, which apparently haven't been up to par. They can take the Vikings away from the culture, but they can't take the culture out of the Viking. At least, not in Sigurd's case.
8 "It All Means Nothing."
How empty is the philosophy of The Order? They are virtually lifeless, especially when compared to a dynamic character like Ezio. There is some controversy, especially after the last few games, about whether the Assassins are the good guys or the bad guys. This blurring of the line continues powerfully in the current installment.
But that does not mean the Templars have found their souls. Kjotve the Cruel pays the ultimate price in an admittedly fruitless attempt to bring organization into the world. All he has to show for it is a long string of murders and an empty outlook on life.
7 "You Were S*** Into This World. And You Will Leave Here As A Turd Dumped Into Hell's Ditch."
Eivor's hatred for Kjotve is personal and understandable, but what he has to say about his son Gorm is arguably worse. It includes several epithets which can't be written here, any of which qualify for an M rating from the ESRB. One term might be "swearing like a sailor," but even the terse sailor Edward Kenway would blush at most of these lines.
This is one of the more creative insults that Eivor has about Gorm. It might seem over the top, but even given a chance to change his legacy, Gorm decides to follow in his father's wicked footsteps, justifying even the worst of Eivor's criticism.
6 "It Is A Wise Leader Who Considers The Needs Of Others."
Eivor's relationship with Sigurd is not all joy and peace. The turmoil between the two becomes the game's single biggest plot device, with the ending entirely depending on exactly how well the two stayed loyal to one another.
In better times, though, Sigurd delivers this compliment to Eivor and takes the first step in recognizing Eivor's leadership ability. Plenty of female characters have been relegated to a supporting role in terms of screen time in the series, but with some recognition from her brother, Eivor has a chance to avoid that trap later on.
5 "I Will Not Be Captive To Another Man's Gaudy Design. My Destiny Is Mine To Weave."
By far, Eivor has less to do with the Assassins than any previous character (outside of the blade, Eivor has more to do with Harry Potter than the Assassins). Those who play the game note that it's actually not clear if Eivor ever joins the Hidden Ones at all or merely acts as an associate. So the focus on freedom has taken a hard backseat as the player anoints kings as opposed to dethroning them.
This does not mean that Eivor does not recognize freedom from authority as important. It's unclear whether it's seen as a right or something that must be fought for in order to retain, but regardless, even while worshipping gods that believe in fate and destony, Eivor does not accept the given life as the status quo.
4 "If The Universe Were A Simulation, What Would It Matter?"
The latest Assassin's Creed will only feed rumors that this series and Watch Dogs are set in the same universe. Due to the focus on technology and virtual reality, Layla cannot help but explore topics that relate to what is true and what is not.
In one data file on her computer, Layla is reading about how it makes little difference if she is in a simulation or not. The same entry goes on to say that pain is felt all the same, so whether the pain is real or a phantom is a "meaningless" examination.
3 "I Am Better Than Well. I Am Present."
The Seer opens up heavily symbolic visions of the future for Eivor and Sigurd. Her spiritual tendencies can be exotic and confusing for the modern gamer, but Eivor takes her seriously and their relationship, both professional and personal, shapes Eivor and Valka as people.
Her spiritual wisdom does not evade the current generation of gamers entirely, though. In a time when wellness has gone beyond denoting physical health, Valka offers some good advice for being mentally grounded and aware.
2 "If I Wanted To Hear You Talk S***, I'd Cut Out Your Tongue And Shove It Up Your A**."
The mercenary Tonna is a memorable character from the game. Her conflict with Ivarr is violent to the point of humor. She herself is a steadfast individual who tolerates no changes of plans or changes of heart within or outside of her ranks.
Her self-centered narcissism and condescension of other people gets the best of Eivor, who explodes into one of his more memorable tirades after she gets a little too mouthy. It acts as gasoline on a fire, but no friendship between the two appears to ever be a possibility.
1 "They Should Call You The God Of Hindsight. All-Knowing After The Fact."
Havi, God of Wisdom, is a playable character during The Seer's sequences. He receives some troubling news that foretells of his impending doom and the player's future with this sequence is attempting to prevent this prophecy by using a sneaky character called The Builder.
The contract work goes sour shortly after the employment begins. When Havi reflects on the problems with their present circumstances, The Builder uses the opportunity to mock the God of Wisdom and questions the value of his judgment.